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tion about the weather.
Gloria said, I couldn t compliment someone s clothes.
It s easy. Nice hat, you could say. Nice dress, suggested
Linus.
I couldn t say that to anyone in this state, said Gloria. It
would be a lie.
We re going to Wal-Mart. Now, said Linus, his endless
patience starting to crack. I want each of you to talk to
three people. You can speak to women, men, doesn t matter.
As long as you initiate, I don t care who you talk to or what
you say.
They piled in the pickup, and drove to the Wal-Mart store
in West Lebanon, New Hampshire. Peg wondered if Linus
took them out of state intentionally, so they wouldn t humil-
iate him on his home turf. In the store, Peg and Tracy wan-
dered off together, and quickly found themselves in the guns
and ammo department.
A bear-sized lumberjack in a denim shirt with the sleeves
cut off at the shoulder was stroking a rifle on the rack. Peg
said to Tracy, I dare you to go up to him and say, Nice hat!
Or I could use a sweater!
Tracy said, I dare you to say, Do you know where I can
find the feminine hygiene products?
The two women tittered their way into the entertainment
and software department.
Linus lurked nearby. Peg could feel his presence. She
scanned the customers, then smiled, finding a stranger to talk
to and a good reason to start the conversation. She walked up
to a teenage boy, around fifteen, skinny and jittery.
Peg said very loudly, Hey, kid, aren t you going to pay for
that?
The Girlfriend Curse 251
The teen went white (or should she say, whiter). You talk-
ing to me? he asked as tough as he could.
Peg had to laugh. He was as intimidating as a baby chick.
She said, The DVD you put down the front of your pants. Are
you going to pay for it, or just pad your package?
There s no DVD in my pants, protested the kid.
Peg took a step toward him. The kid jumped back. His
movement made the DVD slide down his oversized jeans leg
and land on the floor with a clatter.
The kid yelled, Eat me, bitch! and ran for the exit.
Tracy, shaking her head, said, You initiate a conversation
and he runs away screaming.
Peg said, I think I m getting the hang of it.
Wal-Mart was a bust, in terms of social interaction with
strangers. But Peg made a few major connections with the
sales staff, and managed to buy kitchenware, outdoor furni-
ture and a full entertainment system for her new home. She
even arranged a delivery date. Peg had never been inside a
Wal-Mart before, but from now on, it was her favorite store in
the whole wide world. Tracy made a minor connection with
an older woman at the magazine rack. And Gloria easily met
her quota cruising the cosmetics aisle.
As they filed out of the store, Linus said, Tonight, you re
going to pair off and go to different meeting places in the area.
Same assignment. Initiate conversation with strangers. I ll go
with Ben. Ray and Luke. Tracy and
Wilma said, I ll go with Peg.
Linus said, I thought I d pair you with Tracy.
But Peg and I have so much to talk about!
Such as? asked Linus.
You know, girl talk, said Wilma.
Peg doubted Wilma had girl-talked, ever. The idea of an
evening with her at a bar was as appealing as the carrot casse-
role. But Peg s curiosity was cheddar sharp.
She said, First round s on me.
252 Valerie Frankel
* * *
Wilma and Peg sat next to each other at the Norwich Tavern.
The joint tried to carry off the style of English pubs with
names like the Slaughtered Sheep or the Gutted Hen. Dart-
board near the pool table, oak bar, wood panels, dark, win-
dowless, hot, acrid, packed with Dartmouth students who d
ridden bikes across the border to get away from New Hamp-
shire s draconian alcohol policies (as Wilma explained, if a
bar was busted serving a minor, the establishment was
closed for business immediately until further notice no
warnings).
At thirty-two, Peg felt like the oldest woman in the room
(not to mention the only Jew). Wilma, in the twenties, fit in
well, with her perky ponytail and tan. Wilma sipped a Coors
Light. Peg gulped a Manhattan.
So it d come to this, she thought. Three weeks of Inward
Bounding had brought her full circle, to a stool in a bar with
a cocktail in front of her. If she had a Chuck Palahniuk novel,
she might as well be back in Soho. Except, in Soho or even
the Lower East Side, one didn t ordinarily see men peeing out
of the bar window or spitting chewing tobacco saliva into
Dixie cups.
Peg smiled to Wilma, waiting for her to talk. But Wilma
didn t speak, or look at her. She might as well be a complete
stranger.
Peg said, Nice melons! I need a sweater!
Wilma shook her head reproachfully. Accepting you into
the program was the worst decision I ve ever made.
Which, to Peg, was an open invitation to get personal. Are
you and Linus over or not?
Wilma flinched. Regardless of what you think of me, Peg,
I do have feelings.
Shit. I m sorry, said Peg. This must be tough on you.
Breaking up after a year. Having to start over. On such short
notice. I ve been there. Many, many times.
The Girlfriend Curse 253
I m going to tell you a secret, Peg. You should know the
truth about Linus, said Wilma.
Go on, said Peg, her attention rapt.
And then she felt a tap on the back. Peg Silver? yelled a
voice behind her. Peg Silver? From Grand Street in Soho?
The interior landscape designer?
Both women looked at the man who was squeezing him-
self between their stools at the bar. He was in his early thir-
ties or late twenties. He had short, inky black hair. His skin
was impossibly pale. Even surrounded by ethnically pure
Caucasian Wasp co-eds, he was the whitest guy in the
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