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can leave deep scares, and will certainly backfire.
Never loose your temper. That is a bad thing. She will loose respect for you.
Instead, do as Ross says and calmly call her on her bullshit. There may be respect
opportunities early in the relationship, but they will diminish with time. Likewise,
make use of reward opportunities. It is supposed to be about rewarding her good
behavior, not disciplining her bad behavior.
You don't try to fix her. You don't tell her what to do. Instead, when she asks
for your help, you listen with empathy and you support her as you can.
She has to know that you can have any woman you want. She will work harder
to keep you satisfied. When you are out on a date, you are able to talk to anyone with
ease. You do NOT hit on women, you do NOT flirt with women, but you DO
establish rapport quickly and easily, in a fun context.
Mark tells us "Don't have her constantly chasing you, but instead, get her to the
point where she enjoys having you."
I asked my girlfriend what she believes is important for a successful
relationship, and she said: "A meaningful relationship requires a deep emotional bond.
A deep emotional bond requires chemistry. Chemistry is defined as a natural
possession of specific personality traits required by the woman. Those personality
traits include:
Dominant, but not domineering or controlling
Strong yet sweet
Sensitive to her feelings
Confident
Take charge and be comfortable with it
Respects and admires her independence
Respects that you have your own life
Revels in her sexiness
Makes her feel like the sexiest woman on the planet
Caring and sweet"
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I asked her why she believes that she is able to enjoy so many new things in our
relationship. She said "It is the man that you are outside of the bedroom that lets me be
the woman that I want to be in the bedroom. And, you let me be dirty without feeling
dirty. You let me feel that everything is normal and natural. You believe that every part
of a woman's body is sensual."
ALWAYS have something planned. A woman wants a man to make plans,
and not always have to ask her what she suggests they do. A woman wants the man to
be in the driver's seat. A woman has to drive in her life all week. When the weekend
comes, she wants to enjoy going along for the ride. (Again, if she suggests other plans,
you can go with that.) Remember, there is never any rest. (Well, there ARE those
times when she will want to drive, and that's when you let her drive and you rest.)
Deciding who will drive and when is a delicate balance. My girlfriend and I are
both first boors, so when we want to drive, we drive! After we butted heads a couple
times, I had to sit her down and insist that we decide how we decide who drives. We
came to a very workable solution. It was an experience that did draw us closer.
Sometimes it goes that far, but it must be agreed upon.
There must be a balance.
You keep separate identities.
You have your own strong identity.
You stand up for what you believe.
Do not put yourself down. Do not ever let anyone put you down or make fun of
you. Either call them on it or ignore it, depending on the situation. This is very
different from being able to laugh at yourself. It is very important to be able to laugh at
yourself. She will very much appreciate it.
There are those times when a woman gets quiet. It may have been something
we said. When she gets quiet, ask her what is on her mind.
Listen carefully. Discuss it fully. Do NOT let her get out of this. Do not move
forward until she shares what is bothering her. To do so would be a huge mistake.
Don't try to force it; just don't move forward until it is finally discussed. You don't want
to continue with the evening's events or go home and have sex, because that grudge
she has will get anchored to everything you do together.
One mistake I have seen guys make is when they are out on a date with their
woman, they will for no reason at all plant a kiss on her. There are two problems with
this: I. She is emotionally needy and needs the attention (which means he selected
wrong) or 2. she is an independent woman and will only grow tired of the
supplication. Do not smother her in kisses. Instead, BE The Man and let her kiss you.
Then reward her good behavior. This is different from being indifferent, which is just
as bad.
Study role models.
Get Mark's "Scoring with Married Women" to learn more about how to BE
The Man. Mark tells us to learn about the romantic hero in the romance novels, and to
read the book "Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women."
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Study Mickey Rourke in "9 1/2 Weeks" and especially in "Wild Orchids."
Study Seymore Butts in "Squirters 2." He has a very healthy relationship with women.
Study Johnny Depp in "Don Juan DeMarco." Learn to talk like him. Learn to think
like him. Learn to love women as passionately as he does.
Use self hypnosis to make it your reality that you ARE The Man. Feel all the
traits which that causes to become true for you. Incorporate those traits. Each new trait
becomes a part of you, permanently. Like Mark says: "There IS NO off switch."
And some of the most important things I have learned from Mark: You rely on
you.
You are in control of yourself.
Everything that happens to you is your own doing.
You no longer concern yourself with what other people think of you.
You no longer doubt yourself.
You completely believe in yourself.
Instead of being inappropriately serious, you are playful.
You are done accommodating to the world, the world now accommodates to
you.
You are exceptional. From here on out, you are no longer ordinary.
You have arrived. There is no more "I will do that, just as soon as I do (fill in
the blank.)" From here on out it's "Well, here I am. After all those years I have finally
arrived. Now I take responsibility."
And probably the best advice I can give you:
Do not look outside of yourself for a sense of personal power. The anticlimactic
realization is that personal power comes from within. However, as Mark says "Our
imagination, by definition, is limited by what we already know." Therefore, in order to
expand our horizons and learn more about ourselves, we do go to others to learn what
has been possible for them.
I first realized my own sense of personal power after attending Mark's "Intro to
Stage Hypnosis." I was as much afraid of hypnosis as I was fascinated by it. But I
knew that I had to learn it. I knew that I would never be happy with myself until I
faced the fear and learned it. Interestingly, I found it to be very easy and lots of fun.
Don't TRY to be personally powerful. Don't ACT personally powerful. BE
personally powerful.
You are genuine.
You are convincing.
You are believable.
You command respect.
"Now you're playing for keeps." Mark Cunningham
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Essence of a True Master
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