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You oughta be ashamed of yourself.
He was quiet, had a nice smile, perfect manners&
No sense of humor, Ray said. The guy didn t know shit except what was in books and you
helped him with that. You know what the big problem was? He found out you re smarter than
he is. But once he got his MD he was a doctor and you weren t. Ask Dad or Tony, they saw
it.
Tony, her older brother, a uniform Metro-Dade cop. She d bring Keith home to visit or have
dinner, her dad and Tony would watch sports on TV, any sport. When Keith got his MD and
went to North Broward as a first-year resident in psychiatry, Tony said, That s all he is? I
thought he was a fucking king at least. Ray said he acted superior so no one would know he
was a moron.
She said to Ray, I thought he was just playing doctor and would get over it. I guess he never
will. Keith said my problem was I thrived on abusive situations. Boy, tell me about it. When I
did lay into him I said all the wrong things. You wouldn t have made it through school
without me. You wouldn t have eaten, had clean clothes to wear, all that. He d go, Oh, did I
force you? Make you work at that place? One time when I blew up he said, I have to deal
with emotional Latins all day and I come home to one. In that superior tone of his. I said,
For Christ sake, why did you marry me? You know what he said, now that he s a doctor and
doesn t need me? He said, That s a good question.
And the judge, in his chambers, said she didn t look especially Latin. Like he was paying her
a compliment.
Oh, thank you, Your Honor. What she always wanted to hear from a redneck racist asshole
old enough to be her father. So obvious, coming on with that business about his wife s mental
condition, speaking in another voice. Oh, really? Going along with it instead of saying, Judge,
married to you, no wonder she wants to be somebody else.
She was supposed to feel honored a judge wanted to sleep with her. Like she d made it to the
big time and could tell the lawyers who hit on her to kiss off. The lawyers in their nifty suits.
You re a bright little girl, I might be able to do something for you. Like what? Oh, make
your job easier. How? Oh, put in a word here and there. She was supposed to see it as her
big chance. Wow, get to go to bed with a lawyer.
At hospitals it would be, get to go to bed with a doctor. A nurse at North Broward had liked
the idea. The one Keith visited evenings, an hour or so at a time.
It was her brother Ray, a surveillance expert, who found out. He said, If he was clean I
would never have told you. But he isn t, so there it is. You want, I ll have a talk with Keith,
straighten him out. Kathy said, No, I ll handle it.
A car rolled past, a dull shape, its exhaust rumbling, and stopped in front of Dale Crowe s
house. Two young guys got out with grocery sacks, one tall enough to be Dale but built
heavier, broad through the shoulders. They walked up to the house talking in loud voices,
flying high this evening, and went inside. A light came on in the front room, the door still
open.
There were lights in some of the homes along the street, single-story frame houses back
among old trees and overgrown shrubs, a low-rent neighborhood no one cared about.
The house where the nurse lived in Pompano Beach was like one of these. Three years ago
she might still be there.
The two young guys seemed right at home. Maybe they d know where Dale was, seven days
before going to prison. She should have taken the time, had a talk with him after the hearing
instead of going in to see the judge, sit there like a good little probation officer. Yes, Judge&
Oh, really?
Kathy got out of her car and locked it, thinking about the night she drove up to the nurse s
house, in the same car but didn t lock it that time. She had walked past Keith s Mustang
convertible his parents had given him for graduation, went up to the door and rang the bell.
She rang it six times and remembered thinking as she waited, they bought him a car but let her
pay the rent, buy the groceries and she never said one goddamn word about it. The nurse
opened the door frowning. A small blond nurse in a pink wrap and with a tiny white dog in
her arm.
Kathy said, There s something I d like to tell my husband.
The blond nurse said, Your husband?
Maybe she didn t know.
The one in the bedroom, Kathy said, moving past her.
He was out of bed standing naked, about to put on a pair of pale-blue briefs she washed
whenever they were in the hamper. He looked at her and said, Would you mind waiting in
the other room, in that tone of his.
I guess I don t know how you re suppose to act, Kathy said, you catch your husband
fucking a nurse.
Don t be crude.
That isn t what you were doing?
Why don t you go home and wait for me. We ll talk about it later. All right?
I brought all your clothes, your books&
What do you mean?
I mean I brought all your clothes and books. What do you think I mean? All your stuff, it s in
my car, loose, I didn t pack it. I m going to take it out and put it in your car. If it s locked I ll
lay the stuff on your car or throw it in the street, I don t know, whatever I feel like doing.
You brought all my things?
Everything you own, your books, your catalogues, anything else you paid for, which isn t
much. You can come out and help me if you want, or you can stay here and fuck your nurse
or fuck the dog, I don t care, you re out of my life. And my apartment.
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